Diary of a Crazy Red-Head

The tale of two Christmas trees

Probably my favorite part of Christmas is decorating. Each year, I seem to get a little more into it. Up until 5 years ago, we had one tree. One 12 foot mother of a tree. Originally it had a Mardi Gras theme with masks and feathers. My theory always was that Christmas isn't about the tree...it's a Jesus and a Jesus tree seemed odd or overly religious. Really I don't worship my tree, nor should we. It's really just a decoration and that's it.

When we moved into this house, the 12 foot tree didn't fit into our family room, the room we spend most of time in. So we set up the old tree in the gameroom and changed all the decoration to glass blown ornaments. I had been collecting them for years...in boxes, un-admired. Alexis was 10 and they were to be her's on her wedding day. My dad was on chemo and the reality of life and death was a main focus. I decided to give her the ornaments, but use them now. She loves them and has her favorites. 

We set up a wintry themed tree in the family room, by the fire. Face it, I live in the desert and it's hard to get in the spirit when it's 80 degrees outside. My tree is filled with sweaters and sleds and snowflakes. I love it. 

Two years ago, our life was so hectic. Dad's cancer had returned. I had gotten the flu. The 12 foot tree became a chore. It would take me 4 hours just to get the lights on (it was old school...not pre-lit). I decided to donate it and make life easier. So last year, I got the retro aluminum tree. It goes perfect in the gameroom and it still displays all the glass blown ornaments. I love it too!

So that is the tale of our Christmas trees. I really would have one in every room. I love Christmas trees. I love seeing other people's Christmas trees. But I hate storing all the crap. So I will stick with 2 only.

I also want to note that today I spent 4 hours in ER. And yes, it's going in my Christmas Journal.

A high quality photo here. One handed, perocet looped, happy girl! 

ER was able to remedy my immediate problem, although in the long run I am back to square one. It's girl stuff and I just need to find what is right for me. But for tonight, I am SOOO very thankful to be pain free. It's been 6 days of extreme pain. I fought it, tried to ignore it, medicated it, boozed it. 

I will take the entire experience as a blessing. I am grateful for Johnny. He has been such a great caregiver this week. Truly concerned and so helpful. I realized that most of the stuff we do for Christmas isn't necessary. It was not to sit back and enjoy the tree, online shop by the fire with a Bailey's. I love how God sets me back to where I need to be. I love that my heart is wide open enough to see what is pure and good and what is truly important. Yes, I have many things I want to get done this week, but really am satisfied right where I am. 

Day 10 only 7 minutes late!

Gift Wrap? Yes, my packages have to look perfect.  I think packages are part of the house decorations. I love putting gifts in the tree. Not everything has to match. I prefer using tissue paper to wrap with because I love the sound of it. I like to tie gifts onto gifts...layered it fun and festive.

One year I would love to wrap everything in kraft paper and make our tree look like a magazine cover. 

Wrapping won't occur in my house for at least another week....if my mojo makes an appearence. 

Woo hooo...I am awesomely caught up! Pictures tomorrow...making it a goal!

Day 9...and oh crap it's after midnight and another day was added :)

Day 9 is about traditions again. Um. Already chatted about that. So I will sway. My nightly tradition is to watch Everyone Love Raymond. It's basically the only show I watch. Monday through Friday 10:30pm to 11:30pm. I laugh. I cry. I relate. I love it. Silly huh? I have even started saying "Oh Crap" like Peter Boyle. Oh crrrrap!

Day 8

TIme is just flying! LOL!!! 3 days in 20 minutes! Okay so today is about visualizing your Christmas via photos. I have taken some almost daily but haven't done any edits. So I will vent!  I changed from a Windows computer to a Mac in July. Big mistake. I am a quick learner. I get computer stuff. But I my brain doesn't flow the same way as a Mac. Everyday I try and learn something new about it. I have even taught John things, but I am still struggling with the photo side of it. One of my New Year goals is to get my photos organized and start using Lightroom and Photoshop. It's a desire, but it's stressful for me too. So I am waiting until the holiday stress passes to dig in.

 

I also want to start a list of things I need to be taking photos of now. I can keep "virtual" post-its on the Mac desktop, so I can check off photos as I click them. 

Day 7 on the Ten spot

Christmas Organizing...LOL!  The two words really don't go together do they?

1. House is decorated.

2. Half of my Christmas cards are mailed. Half are sitting on the counter.

In my mind, that is all that needs to be done by this point.

What really needs to get done this week?

1. Shopping. I have done online shopping, but I am just not finding what I want this year. Or maybe it's just that I am tired of being cooped up and need to go out and shop. Alexis and I are going out one night this week if I am feeling up to it. I really don't have much to do.

2. Crafting. I am making a few gifts and really should be done with them, but the Diner is a mess and crafting takes some mental preparation. 

3. Hospice pick up. Yeah, that NEEDS to get done. Tired of it being on my to do list. 

4. My car. When my car is organized life falls into a cosmic alignment. My car sucketh and needs a good vacuuming. 

The week before Christmas:

1. Wrapping.  I like doing all my wrapping all at once. One mess, one time.

2. Baking. Everything has been purchased, just need to get it organized and decide what exactly I will be making.

 

So aside, from cleaning, that seems like an easy list to get accomplished. Now to add all the stuff I need to get done for my mom! {O.O} Take the above list and multiple it by 2 and a half because her stuff just takes me longer. 

Dear Jesus...I need my mojo back. Thank you, Sherine

Oh...here come catch-up

I really don't have any excuse for being behind, except that I am not the embodiment of the Christmas spirit right now. I have left my house 3 times since Tuesday (a doctor's appt)...grocery shopping, a Christmas party, and hockey tonight. My female parts are rebelling and today I sat in my chair for 8 hours...only to get up and pee. I am going nuts! Online shopping isn't even fun. So tonight I am digging deep to get in the spirit of things.

I believe I left off with day 6. And to keep some sort of organization I will pretend today is December 6th :) 

So today's post is all about Christmas past. Christmas as a child was always awesome. My parents did a lot of events for the Lion's Club and what was then called "the Crippled Children's Hospital". My parents also did an amazing about of gifts of the other kids in our family (cousins, etc). I am so blessed to have generous and loving parents.  My parents (mainly my mom) would go to Toys R Us and buy like 1 of each game, 10 dolls, etc, etc. Then all like items where wrapped the same. She never tagged any of our gifts...she was able to remember everything.  We would take so much to the Lion's Christmas party. She made little Santa favors. The children were always so happy. It a good memory for me. 

I also remember going to the Veteran's Hospital with Christmas gifts. I was probably 11-12 years old? It was very difficult for me. The men were obviously not of stable mind and would grab and hold on. And of course, there were maimed bodies that were disturbing for a young girl. I do know that it was hard, but I also felt a feeling of gratefulness, even as a young child. 

The last couple of Christmases have been the hardest. With my daddy being so sick, in our minds we always wondered if it was the last Christmas. Last year, it was so obvious. I remember so much about last year and honestly it's very painful. I was so glad dad lived through Christmas but our memories of those final weeks are heartbreaking. I just know now that Christmas isn't about the stuff...although stuff makes us happy and I don't think there is anything wrong with stuff, it's more about the moments. I don't remember many of my gifts growing up, but I remember the get togethers. I remember laughter and love. We create our childs memories by what we create today. 

 

 

Tradition!

So when I think of tradition, I think of:

 

 

 

Yes, I know all the words. :) Tradition to me is something that has been handed down generation after generation. So as far as Christmas traditions, we have none. Christmas rituals yes, traditions no. That might sound really sad, but to me it's not. Yes, our little family does some things, year after year. But I don't consider any of it tradition.

We decorate our tree, hang our stockings, outside Christmas lights hung with perfection, watch Christmas Vacation on Christmas Eve with pizza take-out, etc. etc. I suppose our lights hung to perfection could be a tradition...my mom needs to have them perfect as well. But really I think we do different things every year. Maybe my family would think that everything we do is tradition.  I don't know.  I am not a very sentimental girl, so maybe this year would be a good year to start something that, in the future...for Alexis' family, would be tradition.

For me, right now, it's about creating memories and not necessarily repeating the same things over and over again. I like the variety. I have changed up my decorations this year. I plan on trying new recipes. I am shopping differently (and earlier!). So for me, this year, comfort is coming with change and randomness. 

 

 

December 4th (ahhhh yay...caught up ;)

The perfect Christmas?

Perfection for me is a thing of the past. I don't strive for it, I don't even really desire it. Well, maybe I desire it a little LOL. But I think the more we try to make things perfect, the less perfect it becomes. It becomes a chore, over orchestrated, a hassle. I have gotten good with saying...hey that's good enough. Really I have!

So the perfect Christmas for me, is one I can no longer have in theory. Dad is gone...spending his first Christmas in Heaven, what a glorious that thought is! But it's our first without him. 

So will I have a perfect Christmas without him? Yay, probably not. But I will make it as wonderful as possible. What's the recipe for that in my mind? My manifesto. I want to enjoy each day. I don't want stress to seep in. I want to take time to do the things that make me and my family happy. I want to remember it is a season, not just a day. That everything from now on is part of Christmas. 

December 3...it's the 4th

Christmas cards? Well, I love getting them. I use them as decoration for the house. I am not so good about writing them. I think cards should have a message. I remember one year (at my parents) when we counted about 10 Christian themed cards out of over 100 cards. It's the one time of year that we can show our love for Christ, without seeming overly fantic. 

 

I have sent Christmas cards after Christmas. I have avoided the entire ritual. And this year, they are purchased and awaiting attention. But in all honesty, I think it is better to pick up the phone, write a real note, even left a "thinking of you" FB message. People just want to know they are loved even in a small gesture. Christmas cards can be ritualistic and that is sad to me. 

Weather you like it or not

I am doing the Shimelle.com Journal your Christmas. I am a wee bit behind (as usual), but forcing myself to keep up and not give up.

 

So our weather? Usually it is very hard to get into the Christmas spirit in Arizona. But this year has been delightfully chilly. Yesterday, it even snowed in some areas just north of us. We have gotten a lot of rain recently too. I love being able to throw on jeans, a sheatshirt and Uggs. I am a casual girl and it just feels good to be warm and comfy. 

The cold weather also gives us a chance to light the fire. Tonight, it is dropping into the 30's outside and the fire really warms up the place. We are dying to try out our fire pit, but honestly it's been a bit too cold for my old bones. Maybe next Friday or Sunday night.